AN A-Z OF EMOTIONAL PAIN: FEAR
I believe fear to be the most debilitating of all the emotions. In our society fear is used to control us. Law, religion and medicine all use fear to make the general public behave in an acceptable way. Would it not be more civilised to educate with loving concern?
Fear is one of the major causes of stress and yet we allow it to be part of our lives from day one. We teach our children, ‘Don’t do this, don’t do that. ‘We would be better to teach them in a positive way. Rather than instilling fear with phrases like, ‘Don’t go near the water,’ we could reinforce a safe action, ‘Stay near mum.’ ‘Remember to clean your teeth,’ is more effective than, ‘Don’t forget to clean your teeth.’
Educators have now found that to understand what is expected of us, we must first visualise the original command. In that way it is reinforced. When we hear, ‘Don’t touch the hot place!’ we visualise touching the hot plate and naturally the child will touch it to check if it is hot.
In adult life, we ‘fear to try’ in case we make a fool of ourselves or show our inadequacy. Yet we all have to start at the beginning in areas where we have no expertise. This requires us to step outside our ‘comfort zone.’
While we all understand that there have to be laws of society to provide the parameters so we can exist together in harmony, we are sustained in fear by our institutions and beliefs. There are times in our lives when we must release this fear, and have the courage to strike out on our own, if we are to discover anything new.
Fear is our greatest enemy as it freezes us in time. Stepping outside our comfort zone is not easy for any of us and we often need help to do it. Do you realise you can’t have two thoughts in your head at once? Crowd out the fears that cause you distress with enthusiasm and love producing ideas that support your mental world.
There was a girl who suffered breathing trouble every time she found herself in a stressful situation. She underwent therapy where it was revealed that she feared her father was going to belt her as he did her brothers and sister. Although he never did, she always feared that it would be her turn next. Years later only the fear remained, the original cause being long forgotten. It was only through a special therapy called ‘Healing the Inner Child’ that her internal tension and fear were released and the emotional health problem cured.
Fear is all encompassing. There are quite a few Bach Flower therapies covering many situations of fear. Let me list them:
Clematis, mimulus fear of life-threatening illness.
Aspen, mimulus fear of the dark.
Aspen, mimulus,
rock rose fear of death.
Agrimony fear of the future.
Heather, mimulus fear of health.
Cherry plum fear of insanity.
Chicory, heather,
olive & mimulus fear of losing friends.
Aspen fear of no known reason.
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